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  1. Mb
    Mb is offline The Photographer
    Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
    Posts: 8,136

    #1

    Default Are you a ricer?

    # You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower.
    # You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels.
    # Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque.
    # 17" rims up front, 13" out back on your FWD.
    # You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.
    # You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission
    # DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for.
    # Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, PIA driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL engine parts.
    # A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme.
    # Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel well going in from the side.
    # The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months...
    # Your tires / rims stick out from the lip of your car by more than 1."
    # Your paint job is from the WRONG end of the color spectrum.
    # You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the fender.
    # You see cars like yours in a Shriner's Parade for Children and clowns are driving them.
    # You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.
    # Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear...
    # Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling."
    # You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.
    # You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings.
    # Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third mount brake light...
    # The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod work long before the actual gauges are hooked up.
    # You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds!
    # You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot.
    # You install clear corner and brake lights.
    # You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses.
    # You ever put neon on the bottom of your car, and then busted it on the first speed bump you went over.
    # You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match
    # If your rear spoiler is taller then you are.
    # if you can fit fist your exhaust tip
    # You have more stereo WATTS than engine TORQUE!
    # If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod you’ve done to your engine yet.
    # Your tailpipe extension fell off during a quarter mile race and you went three tenths of a second faster due to weight savings.
    # EVERY car in your class has a turbo pushing double digits worth of boost.
    # You spent $5,000 on the engine and you can not out run a stock Camaro, Firebird, or Mustang
    # You want the 'wastegate' sound, but don't want to install a turbocharger system.
    # You think Nitrous Oxide on your Hyundai Sonata puts you in the same performance league as the Chevy Corvette.
    # The automatic version of your car runs 2 seconds slower in the 1/4mile.
    # If the 1970 Plymouth Daytona Superbird has a smaller spoiler than your car does.
    # You think the Del Sol is a sports car...
    # A torque converter does NOTHING for your car.
    # You think a deep farty noise = the sound of high performance
    # If you think that horsepower is far more important than torque
    # If you have ever claimed that switching to a cone filter has given you more than 5 HP.
    # If you have ever considered installing more than one set of fog / driving lights.
    # If you claim that the aftermarket cold air intake system you just installed doubled your horsepower or took 2 or more seconds off of your E/T.
    # Your baseball cap is always on backwards when you drive (the first sign of mental retardation, wearing your clothes backwards... BE).
    # You spent all night on the Internet trying to find a company that makes a turbocharger system for your Hyundai...
    # If you removed your side view mirrors and put them at the TOP of the door / window frame.
    # If you think the Fugees are 'speed' music.
    # MOMO is 'absolutely required' to go fast.
    # Your four cylinder has a dual exhaust system installed.
    # Your four cylinder has four exhaust pipes ("Hey, one for each cylinder!")
    # The color of your interior upholstery hurts the cones and rods in other people's eyes.
    # If you cannot drive your car in snow as the ground effects create a plow effect.
    # If you have installed driving lights to compensate for headlight blackouts / tape.
    # If you think that 180 horsepower and 185 lb/ft of torque are impressive for a ‘mildly’ modified engine.
    # If you have stickers on your car for parts that you could not point out if asked where those parts are installed.
    # You think pushrods are a bad thing…
    # Your car has more decals than you do the quarter in seconds.
    # Every Honda you EVER owned, all the way back to your 1978 Accord was either a V-Tec or a TYPE-R.
    # You took your rear seat out and gutted your interior for weight savings but you installed 400 pounds of electronics, neon, DVD, Sony, etc.
    # If you gutted the interior to save weight on a car that you will never take to the track…
    # You lean your seat so far back when you are driving, that every time you hit a bump, its your back and not your butt that hurts.
    # You have hydraulics and sixteen switches on a car you claim runs low 10s on the street and corners better than a Porsche.
    # If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading.
    # You claim that you can get a titanium block for your engine.
    # If you have ever thought Hyundai and "performance" went hand in hand
    # If you've ever gone to a parts shop or speed warehouse and asked for a 1" to 6" exhaust adapter...
    # If you've ever contemplated adding "TYPE-R" stickers to your Sonata…
    # If you've removed more than 1/2 of the coils from your springs by cutting them yourself ...
    # If you have more neon lights on your car than a strip club...
    # You put Kanji on your Ford ZX2, Ford Probe, or Mercury Cougar ...
    # You own a "TYPE-R" Hyundai or Mazda.
    # You couldn't afford headlight masking, so you just painted them with flat black Krylon and it's peeling. Badly.
    # You claim that polishing your intake gave you 5hp.
    # You own a V-TEC Hyundai or Mazda (especially a V-TEC rotary engined Mazda RX-7)
    # You have neon INSIDE your car or in your ENGINE compartment
    # You ever claimed that high gas mileage made your car superior in performance to V8s.
    # If it takes you 8000rpm to reach 30mph from a dead stop at WOT.
    # You think yellow plastic interior trim makes your car cool
    # You spend $500 for a giant hand welded tube for a muffler with the weld marks extremely visible
    # If you paint your drum brakes to simulate Hi-po calipers
    # If you install fake hi-po caliper / disc simulators
    # You have a front wing.
    # If you lower your car and add ground effects but retain the stock 14inch wheels with disc style wheel covers
    # If you equate the sound of performance with the sound of a Weed Eater™
    # If you think bolting a fake muffler to one side to simulate dual exhaust is cool
    # If you think colored head lights work better
    # Clear tail lights and turn signals. They’re colored for a REASON!
    # If you take mom's 4 door Honda accord and do any kind of mod to it
    # You drive a Ford Escort station wagon with Kanji, wide tires, and Limp Bizkit stickers on the rear hatch
    # You claim you lost the race because you had a passenger in the car.
    # You claim how if you went from a roll you would have beat him.
    # You claim you lost because you missed a shift... and your car is an automatic.
    # You claim you lost because he must have been on the juice..
    # Flying past the person who is 10 car lengths in front of you after they have put on their brakes.. and claim a victory.
    # after losing you flip your opponent off... rev your motor and fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner.
    # Tell everyone about how you lost the cop because of your "driving skills."
    # you are a white kid driving an import.. wear baggy pants/hat turned around, walk with a fake limp and end every sentence with "yew know wha I'm sayin? Relate."
    # Your idea of aiming a handgun is raising your arm over your head, pointing the gun away from you, and then just letting your wrist fall to the side to where the gun is almost sideways ...
    # drive around in a $20,000 import with $10,000 in mods.. and still live with your parents.
    # You can relate to every line of the song "Pretty Fly For A White Guy" by the Offspring
    # you take offense when I say.. "your sister is like your car.. small, tight and hard to get into."
    # You are a skinny, backwards hat wearing, dog chain wallet, 2 ft wide pants leg, Limp Bizkit looking white boy with a badly applied peroxide hair color treatment and temporary rub-on tattoo

    Last edited by Baldy; 30/01/09 at 18:14 PM.

    It doesn't matter how much horsepower your car has, it's about the smile on your face when you drive it.


  2. KoenigseggBG is offline Made in 1994
     
    Location: Varna, Bulgaria
    Posts: 6,759

    #2

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mb »
    # You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower.
    # Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque.
    # 17" rims up front, 13" out back on your FWD.
    # Your paint job is from the WRONG end of the color spectrum.
    # You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.
    # Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear..
    Yeah...

  3. McLaren is offline Viscous Traction
    Location: Texas
    Posts: 40

    #3

    Default

    Some of these are very silly b/c ricers aren't smart enough to do half of them.

    # You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.
    # The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months...# You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot.
    # If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod you’ve done to your engine yet.
    # If you can estimate that your car makes more than 250 HP without ever running it at the track or getting a dyno reading.
    3 of these 4 apply to me, but my car has its reasons due to the small amount of aftermarket parts available.

  4. Immelmann is offline Custom User Title
     
    Location: eh?
    Posts: 1,846

    #4

    Default

    I gate ricers, those Civic and Integras need to be burned.


  5. CobraDBlade is offline Bought a Supra. Tada!
    Location: Saint Louis, MO USA
    Posts: 486

    #5

    Default

    need to add one to the list there:

    If you have ever lost a race to a minivan (true story. I was the one driving the van )

  6. Jacob is offline Car Aficianado
      
    Location: Vermilion, Alberta, Canada
    Posts: 1,903

    #6

    Default

    This is probally the funny post i've read yet. thank god im none of them. when i get a car ill probally just a an intake for maybe 3hp more but thats it

  7. ShadowGT is offline I <3 Boobies!
     
    Location: Melbourne, Australia
    Posts: 3,198

    #7

    Default

    # after losing you flip your opponent off... rev your motor and fail to break the wheels loose even around a corner.
    Guilty as charged >_>. I had the car in "economy" mode instead of "Power" Mode so the tires never broke loose.

    Leader & Founder of the "Ponies of War" Gaming Comunity

  8. gingervette is offline Corvette = Win
     
    Location: Kentucky, USA
    Posts: 1,032

    #8

    Default

    Ricers are an embarasment to the car enthusiast world. Yes, your car is a 4-cylinder, yes your car is slow, and yes everyone in the world knows that. Sticking a 8-inch diameter exhaust pipe on your civic or putting racing vynals on your eclipse are not going to make them any faster. The only thing that is going to do is make people laugh out loud at your arrogance...
    U mad bro?

  9. RB26DETT is offline Banned
    Location: Manila, Philippines
    Posts: 5,389

    #9

    Default

    Don't hate the Honda's man, hate the driver. I love Civic Si's and Type-R's when stock. US-Spec Civic Si Coupe FTW!

    I do hate it when people with normal Civic VTi's have Si or Type-R badges on their car. Posers.

  10. StrickenHAWK? is offline Car Aficianado
    Location: Australia
    Posts: 1,746

    #10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by redvette77 »
    Ricers are an embarasment to the car enthusiast world. Yes, your car is a 4-cylinder, yes your car is slow, and yes everyone in the world knows that. Sticking a 8-inch diameter exhaust pipe on your civic or putting racing vynals on your eclipse are not going to make them any faster. The only thing that is going to do is make people laugh out loud at your arrogance...
    mate, how is it arrogant? if people want to put something on their car like a sticker, i dont see any problem with that, or how it is arrogant. dictionaries come in helpful, and would be helpful for YOU right now.






  11. Baltoman is offline Baby Vipah :D
    Location: Espírito Santo, Brazil
    Posts: 3,618

    #11

    Default

    hahahhahahhhhahahhhhaha Ricers = +18 Super Noobs

    When I get a car, all I'm gonna do is paint the color that bests suits it.

  12. McLaren is offline Viscous Traction
    Location: Texas
    Posts: 40

    #12

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by redvette77 »
    Ricers are an embarasment to the car enthusiast world. Yes, your car is a 4-cylinder, yes your car is slow, and yes everyone in the world knows that. Sticking a 8-inch diameter exhaust pipe on your civic or putting racing vynals on your eclipse are not going to make them any faster. The only thing that is going to do is make people laugh out loud at your arrogance...
    I have a Civic Si '08 & I know for a fact I can launch it faster than half the kids here with Mustangs or Camaros who don't know how to drive them properly.

    Don't hate.

  13. RB26DETT is offline Banned
    Location: Manila, Philippines
    Posts: 5,389

    #13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by McLaren »
    I have a Civic Si '08 & I know for a fact I can launch it faster than half the kids here with Mustangs or Camaros who don't know how to drive them properly.

    Don't hate.
    I want a Civic Si Coupe!

  14. ShadowGT is offline I <3 Boobies!
     
    Location: Melbourne, Australia
    Posts: 3,198

    #14

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by McLaren »
    I have a Civic Si '08 & I know for a fact I can launch it faster than half the kids here with Mustangs or Camaros who don't know how to drive them properly.

    Don't hate.
    a 08 Civic isn't a tuners car. How many tuner noobs do you think can afford a year old car? Plus i bet you were vs'ing Mustangs & Camaro's that are as old as the hills. I find it hard to believe that a civic can beat any post 2000 Mustang or Camaro ( hell even most 90's stangs & Camaro's should beat your civic).

    Now im not saying you didn't beat them i'm saying i want proof lol cos i find it hard to believe.

    Leader & Founder of the "Ponies of War" Gaming Comunity

  15. Shy Guy is offline Car Aficianado
    Location: England
    Posts: 3,188

    #15

    Default

    The most type of ricers that I hate is those the remove the badges and put different ones, some guy in a Camry put a CHRYSLER badge instead of the Toyota, I got so mad, probably a fan of the 300C, but still >=( I also saw a Hyundai Tuscani with a custom badge, and today I saw a Camaro(4th gen) with a Plymouth Superbird long wing

    and I also saw an '07 Camry with Angel Eye headlights, first time I see the angel eye, looks cool but not on the camry

  16. KoenigseggBG is offline Made in 1994
     
    Location: Varna, Bulgaria
    Posts: 6,759

    #16

    Default

    Haha, that`s nothing man. I see BMW 5 or 3 series, old or new ones with M badges on them. Also there`re RS or S badges from Ford or Audi on most of the ricers cars here. In Bulgaria unforunately we have such a dumbasses that understand nothing about cars...

  17. Who
    Who is offline It's not a tumor.
     
    Location: Lincolnshire, UK
    Posts: 3,218

    #17

    Default

    Some of those arent so bad! especially hyundai + perfprmance! have you seen the WRC Hyundai accent? *drool*

    errr, for noise, also true, my bike produces 12hp lol

    rolling start, yep, my bike is heavy but gets 70 (eventually) my best mate's gets 60 but gets there alot quicker

    Also, i lean REALLY far back and it hurts my back!

    I suppose that's the thing about having a cruiser!
    Formerly Crazed Dodgem/Lwsbrck

    I'm not dead!

  18. gingervette is offline Corvette = Win
     
    Location: Kentucky, USA
    Posts: 1,032

    #18

    Default

    You people are clearly not understanding my post...

    You drive a civic or eclipse? Good for you, go right ahead, I could care less. My post was pointed specifically toward those who try to make their car look for sound faster than they know it can go. They put these huge exhausts on them and they make these harindous noises. And put stupid vynals on them that they think are cool. Then they try to have a go at a car they know is faster just so they can look cool. This is how it works where I live. Doesn't work that way where you live? Not my problem.
    Last edited by gingervette; 31/01/09 at 15:27 PM.
    U mad bro?

  19. KoenigseggBG is offline Made in 1994
     
    Location: Varna, Bulgaria
    Posts: 6,759

    #19

    Default

    I completely understand you, redvette. Here is a Bulgarian example of "cool" exhaust

    [imglink]http://images06.snimka.bg/000583548.jpg[/imglink]

  20. iBilo is offline ;)
     
    Location: UK
    Posts: 2,119

    #20

    Default

    I bet DriftNismo (Deaths Pyjamas) has every single thing on the list. =P

    Jokes.


 
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