Results 1 to 14 of 14

  1. Mb
    Mb is offline The Photographer
    Location: Eindhoven, Netherlands
    Posts: 8,136

    #1

    Default You might be a racer if...

    You might be a racer if ...


    - You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
    - You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars.
    - You feel compelled, on a road trip, to beat your previous best time.
    - You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing depth and the wear bars are showing.
    - When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
    - When you hear 'overcooked it', instead of food you think 'off the track'.
    - You change engine oil every other week.
    - You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.
    - You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.
    - Your racing budget is one of the big three -- mortgage, car payments/maintenance, dating.
    - Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you.
    - You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
    - You've been known to yell "It means 'check your mirrors' dammit!" at your television.
    - You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
    - You buy new parts because you can't remember where you put the spares.
    - You bought a race car before buying a house.
    - You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
    - You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
    - You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
    - The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
    1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
    2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motorhome, a crew cab dualie, a 28'enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
    3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
    4) A grease pit.
    5) Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
    6) Deaf neighbors.
    7) Across the street from a paint and body shop.
    Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property somewhere -or- hookups for the motorhome.
    - You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tires that could have been purchased.
    - You know that Orthodontic work is the equivalant of three sets of tires.
    - You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.
    - You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
    - Your wife says, "If you buy another set of tires, I'm getting a new mink."
    - Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
    - You have enough spare parts to build another car.
    - More than one race supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call.
    - You have car parts in your cubicle at work.
    - You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Racers, start your engines!"
    - If you can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on weekends.
    - You're registered for wedding gifts at Pegasus and Racer Wholesale.
    - Your Christmas list begins with "another set of BFG R1s and Pauter rods," and your 'significant other' knows what they are.
    - After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
    - You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.
    - The reading material in your bathroom consists of auto parts and racing supply catalogs, several books written by famous drivers, every book Carroll Smith has ever written.... and 400 car magazines, none of which have centerfolds.
    - People know you by your class letter, car number, and car color.
    - People know you by your "off"s". "Oh, you're the one got stuck in the mud at ButtonWillow last weekend!"
    - You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.
    - Your first date involves asking her to crew for you.
    - Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto repair skills. Air tools optional.
    - Your friends don't recognize you without a helmet and driver's suit.
    - Your family remembers your hair color as "grease".
    - You plan your wedding around the race schedule.
    - You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every other week or so.
    - You remember the dates and details of every race you've ever been in, but can't remember your phone number.
    - Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.
    - You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
    - A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."
    - You give out Summit Racing's number when a friend asks for the best hardware store.
    - You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."
    - You look at the fire hydrant at that corner and see an apex marker.
    - You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
    - You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.
    - Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.
    - You always do a toe & heel downshift while whoever might be your passenger gives you a real funny look.
    - You can't stand anyone telling others how to drive. Of course, you are the best.
    - You can't stand understeer.
    - You always want to change something in your street car to make it handle better.
    - You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil.
    - You hate long distance driving, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the race track.
    - You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.
    - You've ever tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to fix the air filter on her station wagon.
    - You save broken car parts as "momentos".
    - Your last several freeway forays included just brushing the curbs as you apexed the on-ramps perfectly....
    - You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't particularly care for alcohol).
    - The local tire shop won't honor the tread life warranty on any car you have been within 50 yards of...
    - The shop manager at your local car dealer mutters "dear Lord" under his breath after he sees the size of your exhaust piping.
    - The local police and state Highway Patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.
    - You spend more time polishing your exhaust tip every day than you do bathing.
    - Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have timeslips.
    - You would choose a rollbar over air conditioning if it were an option.
    - You enjoy driving through wet, empty parking lots and using the emergency brake to kick the back end out.
    - White smoke coming out from under your tires is a common sight.
    - You consider the redline a "conservative suggestion" and the rev limiter "a fun limiter"
    - You spend more on insurance premiums than on food.
    - Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal final drive ratio for given situations.
    - When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Auto Math Handbook"
    - When someone asks where you went to school, you reply, "Skip Barber".
    - You have racing shops programmed on on your speed dialer.
    - You own five cars and only one of them is street legal.
    - You know the 1/4 mile times and skid pad numbers of your riding mower and want to improve them.
    - You've embarrassed your significant other at least once by insisting on wearing your full face helmet while driving.
    - You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.
    - You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.
    - You regularly live test your rev limiter on that straight that's a little too long for 2nd but not worth going into 3rd for.
    - You've started looking for sponsors for your daily commute.
    - You've slalomed in a construction zone, and counted your penalty time in the rearview afterwards.
    - After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on your vacation she answers: "Why... is there a race there?"

    Great succes.

    It doesn't matter how much horsepower your car has, it's about the smile on your face when you drive it.


  2. SLRRR is offline Ace
    Location: unknown
    Posts: 2,257

    #2

    Default

    *still reading*

    Edit



    I found it: - Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.
    Last edited by SLRRR; 07/01/09 at 12:49 PM.



  3. eleKtro is offline Contain Your Orgasms
    Location: Made in China
    Posts: 2,743

    #3

    Default

    Haha that was a good read. Some of them are true though, things some people actually do.

  4. TDU 505 is offline Clinically Insane
    Location: Singapore
    Posts: 2,754

    #4

    Default

    Oh no! I do walk racing lines!

  5. KoenigseggBG is offline Made in 1994
     
    Location: Varna, Bulgaria
    Posts: 6,759

    #5

    Default

    Hey, I guess I won`t be a race driver But this one gave me hope :

    - You can't stand anyone telling others how to drive. Of course, you are the best.



  6. iBilo is offline ;)
     
    Location: UK
    Posts: 2,119

    #6

    Default

    I do pretty much all of those, and I am a racing driver!!


  7. HavockJoker is offline PGR4 Master
    Location: New Jersey, USA
    Posts: 1,532

    #7

    Default

    Great read (read instead of writing english essay)

    I do the walking the right line in the grocery store or I race shopping carts with my cousin




  8. iBilo is offline ;)
     
    Location: UK
    Posts: 2,119

    #8

    Default

    I really annoy my friends at school cos I take the raciong line without realising and I cut in front of them and stuff.


  9. Immelmann is offline Custom User Title
     
    Location: eh?
    Posts: 1,846

    #9

    Default

    I'm supposed to be writing an essay too
    Haha, the walking of the racing lines is soooooo me.


  10. Baltoman is offline Baby Vipah :D
    Location: Espírito Santo, Brazil
    Posts: 3,618

    #10

    Default

    - You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.
    So true

  11. Car Freak is offline loves dirt too
    Location: Singapore
    Posts: 3,066

    #11

    Default

    I don't walk racing lines, except in the grocery store/supermarket when i have a shopping trolley in front of me (trying to 4-wheel drift it without breaking into oversteer )


    Quote Originally Posted by Jon
    You're impossible, Mark
    Quote Originally Posted by Mark
    Impossible is nothing. Therefore I am nothing...

  12. RB26DETT is offline Banned
    Location: Manila, Philippines
    Posts: 5,389

    #12

    Default

    These pretty much describe me.

    - You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.
    - You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
    - The reading material in your bathroom consists of auto parts and racing supply catalogs, several books written by famous drivers, every book Carroll Smith has ever written.... and 400 car magazines, none of which have centerfolds
    - You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.
    - You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
    - You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
    - Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.
    - You enjoy driving through wet, empty parking lots and using the emergency brake to kick the back end out.

  13. Jacob is offline Car Aficianado
      
    Location: Vermilion, Alberta, Canada
    Posts: 1,903

    #13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Car Freak »
    I don't walk racing lines, except in the grocery store/supermarket when i have a shopping trolley in front of me (trying to 4-wheel drift it without breaking into oversteer )
    That is so me but i put my little sister on the front of it so the back wheels lift a little to get better drifts. and who does like over steer



    EDIT:Just noticed date srry

  14. Who
    Who is offline It's not a tumor.
     
    Location: Lincolnshire, UK
    Posts: 3,218

    #14

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mb »
    You might be a racer if ...
    - You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars.
    - You feel compelled, on a road trip, to beat your previous best time.
    - When you hear 'overcooked it', instead of food you think 'off the track'.
    - You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.
    - You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
    - You've been known to yell "It means 'check your mirrors' dammit!" at your television.
    - You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining. (that's well cheap! )
    - You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
    - You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
    - Your garage holds more cars (bikes ) than your house has bedrooms.
    - After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
    - You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.
    - You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.
    - Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto repair skills. Air tools optional.
    - Your family remembers your hair color as "grease".
    - You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
    - You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
    - You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.
    - Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.
    - You can't stand understeer.
    - You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil.
    - You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.
    - You save broken car parts as "momentos".
    - You consider the redline a "conservative suggestion" and the rev limiter "a fun limiter"
    - You spend more on insurance premiums than on food.
    - You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.
    - You regularly live test your rev limiter on that straight that's a little too long for 2nd but not worth going into 3rd for.
    - After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on your vacation she answers: "Why... is there a race there?"

    Great succes.
    wahey, that be me!
    Formerly Crazed Dodgem/Lwsbrck

    I'm not dead!


 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

about us

  • turboduck is a community that is dedicated to driving and racing games of all types on all platforms. Whether it's ticking off the miles/kilometres while exploring an open world, crashing and exploding everything in an insane balls-to-the-wall arcade racer, or nailing down every apex and trimming off every tenth possible in authentic sim-racing. It's all up for discussion as we enjoy the virtual cars, bikes, and everything else that these games offer. So join us, jump into the discussions, and don't think too much about why a 'duck' is our mascot. ;)
turboduck twitter turboduck facebook turboduck youtube turboduck twitter turboduck rss